I suppose before I move on I should share some things about myself.
Well as I said, I'm a 15 year old girl and I'm called Mattie. I live in the hellishly hot state of Texas with my mother, grandmother, and four little ones. (A.K.A my dogs)
I own about 14 dolls in total, broken down I own 8 Pullips, 5 Taeyangs, and 1 Dal (and hopefully i'll own some BJD's soon)
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| Alice- Pullip Rida |
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| Kira- Pullip Kirakishou |
I absolutely love photography and I use these dolls as my 'models' (they're a lot easier to handle than real people with quote-unquote 'opinions' and 'emotions')
I also take great pride in eating healthy and trying to stay fit, but this has ruined my life.
When I was younger I didn't care what I looked like, what clothes I had, or if anyone even liked me, and I sure as hell didn't care about what I ate.
I'd sit in front of the T.V. with a bag of family-sized Cheetos in one hand and a whole package of Double-Stuffed Oreos in the other. I didn't care about my health or the fact that diabetes already ran in my family.
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| Me at my heaviest, 209 lbs |
At the age of 13 I was 5'6" and weighed 209 lbs, my doctor had a serious talk with me about how I was overweight and was at risk for diabetes and heart disease. Reality slapped me in the face and I went on a journey to get healthy.
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| Me at my healthiest weight, 120 lbs |
Within a year I'd lost 89 lbs and grew two inches. I was finally down to my healthy weight of 120 lbs and I was feeling great, but when you diet for that long you start to get used to eating scarcely.
I couldn't stop dieting, I felt like if I ate like a normal person I'd gain all my weight back, though by this time I couldn't even look at Cheetos or Oreos without throwing up in my mouth a little. I didn't know how to stop and I didn't.
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| Me at my lowest weight of 101 lbs |
I cut back more and more, first the snacks, then the portion sizes, I didn't know how to stop. I started forcing myself to space out my 3 tiny meals over 6 hours apart, which started to destroy my metabolism. On top of it all I started high school, I was getting more exercise than I'd gotten in a long time, which is the worst thing in the world for someone who's only consuming 500 calories a day.
I would get home from school and just pass out because of how much energy I was exerting that I didn't have. I was killing myself.
Finally my mother recognized the signs and took me to the doctor, it was there I was diagnosed with an eating disorder; Anorexia.
I was put on a meal plan where I would consume about 1500 calories a day and I was pulled from school. They thought that the stress combined with the abundance of exercise wasn't good for me, so I started home school.
I'm now on the road to recovery and I feel better than ever, though i'm still not completely healthy, at least the problem has been recognized and being taking care of.
Welp. I just threw up my life story didn't I? Heh. Well at least you know a little bit about me and hopefully some of you can even relate.
The only shred of advice I have is to remember this: God only gives us what we can handle.
I guess God thinks I'm quite the badass, eh?
